On the Care and Feeding of Zebras

Most zoos, if you fork over extra cash,will give you a behind-the-scenes tour of how they care for and feed their animals.  Welcome to a FREE tour of the various Zebra Zoos!

First, let's just shake the hands of the small teams (who regularly field rosters of less than ten skaters) and send them on their way. These teams really don't have the resources to keep their own zoos. Some of them attract 'wild zeebs' that regularly attend, but if the team is too small to scrimmage, it really has no way to provide the all-important -practice- to train their zeebs.

Of the teams that regularly field a dozen or more on the roster, there's an entire spectrum from ref-hostile to ref-friendly ... And it's not hard to guess where they are.

If a team this size doesn't provide its own jam ref ... Watch that water hole for crocs, zeebs!  The thing about Zeeb zoos in derby is that there aren't any fences. Handing someone a rule book, then having him call a scrimmage and yelling at him whenever a skater doesn't agree with a call is mucky water, scanty grass, and black flies. Any zeeb without a strong affection for the team or some particular skater on it will show his heels and head out; and any that are left are handicapped in learning their trade.

So how does the zoo that is a derby league develop a thriving herd of zeebs?  The same way they develop thriving skaters.  Practice.  Feedback.  Support and encouragement.   It’s really a pleasure to work a scrimmage for a ref-friendly team!  The scrimmages are run pretty much like bouts (extra time-outs for the coaches to do their thing aside); the zeebs work like they would in a bout.  The skaters and coaches don’t gripe about calls while the scrimmage is on but do ask questions and offer suggestions in a friendly way during breaks in the action.  Feedback to help the ref get better without feeling attacked, HOORAY!  (It amazes me how many people who wouldn’t think of hassling a skater for an error don’t hesitate to jump the case of even a brand-new ref over a missed call.)

Don’t like zeebs whose stripes are in Team Colors?  Me neither.  Homer refs are fortunately rare as far as I’ve seen; but they are out there.  Every one I’ve met has come from a team that came across as being on the ‘ref-hostile’ end of the spectrum, too.  It could be a loooooong bus ride home if you knew your teammates were going to be resenting any calls against them.  And while a homer ref does give a team an advantage in a bout … what league wants to develop the rep of violating the First Rule of Derby?

 Hey skaters, tell ya a secret:  We like ya.  ☺  That whole Cold Dead Eyes thing?  Totally game face.  We do the studying and put up with the hassles because we love the sport and the skaters – which makes your friendship and acceptance all kinds of welcome.  Derby <3, Mutant Gene